Sick of feeling sick

Yes, I have gone all silent for over a month. Let’s just say, I haven’t been feeling myself. That’s what pregnancy seems to do for me. I have now reached 13 weeks and am hoping beyond hope that I will soon begin to see some light at the end of this long tunnel of nausea, vomiting, dizziness and fatigue.

“Vomit on my sweater already, Mom’s spaghetti…” This has been my unfortunate ear worm for the past month. It all started one morning when I realised that before 7am I had already managed to get some sick on my clothes. Ever since the song has been in my head!

The saying “First Trimester, Worst Semester” has certainly applied in my case. Ever since week 5 I have started to feel ghastly and from week 8 the sickness has been unbearable at times. I feel like I have had my life stolen from me as I have been unable to do the simplest of things. Getting through a day at work is horrendous as I have to deal with waves of nausea, fatigue, not to mention dashing to the toilet to throw up. Food and drink has become a complete minefield. I have so many food aversions and something which I could eat yesterday, becomes vomit inducing today. Food is also a vicious circle. I feel sick if I don’t eat, but then eating makes me sick. Anything more than a small meal seems to send my stomach into digestion panic and I end up with terrible stomach pains. Another unfortunate symptom is the burning inferno of heartburn that I frequently experience. This is why I go nowhere without a bottle of Gaviscon.

The fatigue has hit me like a ton of bricks this time round. I am sure that being 5 years older and mother to a full on 4 year old doesn’t help, but I am shocked by how much sleep I seem to need. By the end of my working day I am literally exhausted. I can easily be asleep by 9pm and I feel like the most weary person ever when I am dragging myself out of bed in the morning. And here’s the most annoying thing – my activity levels have dropped to almost zero. My hopes of maintaining an exercise programme during this pregnancy seem far-fetched at the moment. My Millport run at 7 weeks has been my last decent run and I was definitely feeling it that day. Since then, my exercise attempts have been patchy and I haven’t managed beyond 4 miles in a run. I really don’t want to lose it, but think I am going to have to accept that until I can get onto some kind of even keel, that it won’t do me any favours to push things.

Unfortunately, the prospect of “having a baby” has been more or less forgotten in the last few weeks as I have been struggling to cope with these symptoms. It seems unfair in this day and age that women have to go through such a hellish, debilitating illness. I am guessing that for the only time, I have found a sense of affinity with our Duchess of Cambridge. Like Kate, I have been diagnosed with hyperemisis gravidarum and there seems to be very little that can be done. I had a few episodes when I was unable to keep anything down and was suffering from dehydration. I was treated as an out-patient with intravenous fluids and also an anti-sickness injection. This led on to a whole other saga when I had an allergic reaction to the anti-sickness medicine. Needless to say, I have not attempted any further medication.

I am a walking pregnancy cliché with all my symptoms and the dizziness has topped this “weak female” image off to a tee. The spinning room has hit me frequently and I have unfortunately hit the deck a few times too. Lying down is definitely my favourite position for now.

One of the toughest things about all of these 1st trimester issues is that it can often feel very isolating. We have wanted to keep the pregnancy to ourselves and when you don’t look pregnant, it constantly felt like I had to put on a brave face and get on with it so as not to arouse suspicion. Many times a day I felt like bursting into tears and I would be lying if I didn’t question why I have done this to myself. I am desperate to reach the glowing, happily pregnant stage. Hopefully, I have turned a wee corner as I have not been as sick this week. I am still getting a very sore stomach at times. I don’t think my digestive system is coping with pregnancy yet, but hopefully that will pass. The tiredness is still extreme and I am starting to get a bit anxious about all the things to be done to prepare. Not to mention that I need to try and keep a bit more on top of the housework. (Billy has been working like a Trojan, but a few things have been slipping!) So far, the extent of my preparations has been looking through one box and making up some labels (0-3 months unisex, 6-9 months boy etc.) My intention is to have all the clothing sorted and either ready to be kept or go depending on what we get!

We did have an almost normal Sunday today (except still no running for me – feeling seedy and worn out 😦 ). We headed up to Kelvingrove and had a lovely lunch on Byres Road – “Mr Salty’s”. Macaroni pie for me – Mrs Pregnant Food. We then headed for Kelvingrove Park to bike and play catch.

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12 week scan pictures. Fortunately for us, the “head count” revealed just the one baby – phew!

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13 weeks and 5 days bump

SAM_7566 SAM_7565We told Scott our news this week. That has been fun for us. More on that next time! I cannot promise it will be next week, pregnancy is a cruel mistress!

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